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The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or crot sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in bokep terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, crot and memek sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts porn her partner and bokeh is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokep moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In porn my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel bokep happy, bokeh while conserving their energy for porn other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two bokep researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, bokeh memek and crot that women were prone to what they described bokep as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

bokep A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokep ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move bokep on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to attract a certain kind porn of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, bokep Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, memek I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokeh then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be porn the quietest.

Paris

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