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The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by crot the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept memek awake all night by a memek woman in a nearby room screeching so crot loudly that bokep I wondered if I should offer to perform an memek exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokeh she rolled her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh or memek sex worker.

Now, bokep according memek to memek this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all men dread – the louder bokep the cry of ecstasy, bokep crot the memek greater the crot chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, bokep and crot bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and crot is not fearing bokeh for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian memek hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, memek so they could memek make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion memek crot of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about memek manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, bokeh and crot that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was crot memek like saying: bokep ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only crot other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek bokeh where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As crot far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract porn a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda Jetha concluded memek the most likely reason bokep women were noisy during sex – based on observation porn of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a porn sex worker, bokep I can understand memek the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: crot the best sex may bokep just be the bokeh quietest.

Paris

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